Things to aspire to...

Einstein's theory of relativity is very well known...

E=mc2

I love this image of Einstein - he's in his 80's and still riding a bike, and look at the joy on his face! My great dream is to be able to ride a bike again and have that look of joy.

My brothers taught me how to ride a bike - on their blue, one-speed, boys model. Needless to say, I learned quickly, because I didn't like falling off of that thing. They got different bikes, and I got that one as a hand-me-down. It was ok, cause I had a bike.

Then one day Mom and Dad came home from an estate sale with the score of the century (at least in my mind) ... a sleek, black Raleigh touring bike. It was a 3-speed with lights powered by a generator attached to the tire - cool! Some lady had toured Europe with it, and then never rode it again. I was SOOOOOO lucky. It was the top of the line at that time and something that normally we would not have been able to afford.

And the adventures began... My bike was a MAJOR source of freedom to me. I could go places physically, but also in my mind. In the beginning of summer, I would have to walk the bike up Nicollet hill - it was WAAAAAAAAAY too steep to bike up. BUT, the reward was turning around and flying down the hill - AND by the end of the hill, matching the speed of the cars. By the end of the summer, I could ride up the hill (without stopping) and whiz back down again - pretending I was flying.

In my early teens, I would meet up with Joni for a bike ride - or go on bike adventures by myself. My mom and I had a very "rocky" relationship during the teen years (can you say menopause and puberty DON'T mix? lol) Anyway, I could get away from home, and just "be".

I also had many wonderful adventures on my bike with my Dad. In Minneapolis, they close off the parkways on Sundays - providing hours of fun and not having to worry about being hit by a car. Dad and I used to bike around the lakes; over to Minnehaha Falls; long and short jaunts. It was a great time with just dad and me. Most times, we'd stop at the DQ or the A&W for a rest, an ice cream cone or root beer float, and recoup our energy to ride back home.

It's been YEARS since I have been able to ride a bike because of the knee issues. My knees just haven't been able to do that downward motion that bike riding entails. With the surgery coming up in October, the right knee will be replaced and in "theory" after re-hab is done, I should be able to ride a bike again.

Helen's theory is going to be: Ecstasy = Me Cycling Too!

Argh, it's a hard day today

This is what I FEEL!!!!

• I am so discouraged today.
• I hurt so badly that I'm using my cane.
• I'm out of control with food.
• I feel like a loser.
• I feel like going back to bed and not waking up until next week.
• I feel like calling Coach Michelle and Bonnie and telling them that I QUIT! (working out, not life, I'm not THAT discouraged).
• I feel sad and lonely.
• I feel that this will never get better.
  
  

What do I know?

• I know that tomorrow - or Wednesday or maybe even Thursday, I'll feel better.
• My cane is a "helper" not a symbol of weakness.
• I know that I can reign in the food - it's just choosing to do it.
• I know that I'm not a loser.
• I have to work - so going back to bed and sleeping for a week just won't work.
• Michelle and Bonnie are helping me in the process - and I can't quit them, cause I would be quitting ME
• It's ok to be sad and lonely - and food won't make me feel better.
• It will get better.